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Kitagrl

Funny question that's really not funny

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Okay seriously. Pastors....how would you handle it if you had a woman in your church who kinda acts like a "bus mom" but really isn't a bus mom....but the hygiene is so bad that people notice the smell even after she has left the room. We've had complaints about it and everything. Some days you can just walk in the church and it reeks. Its going to be hard to embrace visitors like that. We have given her gift baskets of hygiene stuff and body sprays and stuff....but otherwise nobody is brave enough to actually come out and flat out ask her what the problem is. They don't have much money but deodorant is .99 and so is soap. Its becoming a real problem. I honestly and purposely think the person doesn't believe in wearing deodorant and doesn't care, but that is my theory and I am too chicken to actually come out and ask the person.

Advice? Help?

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Find someone who isn't too chicken to ask. If the gift baskets didn't work, asking outright is probably necessary.

Some Mennonites don't believe in using deoderant, not sure why, but WOW!, you can tell they don't if you are around them after they've been doing roofing work all day in the summer!

Other than them I've only known one other person who didn't use deoderant and they didn't really have, or at leas didn't give a reason, other than that they just didn't like to. I had to wrestle him in PE and when I pinned his arms back to pin him to the mat the smell literally almost gagged me. I almost lost my hold on him because of that and I can remember the coach yelling at me and all I could think was that I didn't think I could hold my breath long enough for the three count. I managed to get the three count and I got away from there fast!

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My pastor had to deal with something similar to this. He said he just finds an "alpha-female" and asks her to go and talk to the lady.

How unbelievably awkward, it's amazing the things that pastors have to deal with.


You got that right!

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I agree find a lady in the church who will do it and will have a Christian attitude about it. I try and use "soul winning " training to address bodily order.

Some people are so into the natural thing that they don't like the chemicals in deodorant, talk is the the aluminum in them also lead to Alzhiemers. I have seen and read that white vinegar works well for BO, and when I was in the movie "Comanche Moon" the wardrobe people use "vodka" as a spray for the armpits of the costumes, to fight he oder form the actors.

But it sure has to be done in Christs love. And if all else fails, then a pastor must do it.

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I was delegated by the pastor in a previous church to deal with two similar situations - only the ladies were active members of the church, and on church staff.

It is a difficult thing to do, but it is actually quite necessary - for her sake as well as everyone else. Many times ladies aren't aware of the odor (truly - olfactory nerves don't always alert us to odor that others are smelling...) and a loving chat could go a long way.

I don't think I would approach it simply as a sit-down and let her know she smells. Perhaps take her to lunch and work at befriending her so she realizes she is not the target of hateful criticism (unfortunately a lot of people feel that way when something is pointed out...sometimes justly!).

I hate to say this, Suzi, but, unless there is a lady in your church who is willing to step in at your request, you da one! :icon_sad:

(just a bit of trivia: taking alfalfa tablets cuts down on both BO and bad breath...)

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It is absolutely the pastor's wife's responsibility to deal with the ladies in the church in this manner! What were you thinking? :smilie_loco:4


Scripture please. The only responsibility my wife has in the church is to be my wife, anything over and above that is her decision to serve the Lord.

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Well, I guess trc was making reference to my comment that Suzi was da one if no other woman would do it. Maybe not, but just in case, let me clarify: she's the one who is concerned about it...so, if there's no one else to do it, she's the one who needs to...because she's concerned about it. Whether or not she's the pastor's wife.

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True, and I think trc agrees with this.


Your probably right John, maybe just touchy a little bit, run it to this once in awhile. "She is the pastor's wife she should do it." I ask them the same question, the only thing that Peter's wife gave him was a sick mother-in law.icon_biggrin.gif

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True, and I think trc agrees with this.

Sometimes ya'll don't have any sense of humor or tongue'n cheekiness; even when I put an emoticon plain as day. Yes, I do agree and was pointing out how absurd that thinking is. What were you thinking? :smile

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Sometimes ya'll don't have any sense of humor or tongue'n cheekiness; even when I put an emoticon plain as day. Yes, I do agree and was pointing out how absurd that thinking is. What were you thinking? :smile


th_tiphat.gifMy apologies, I did take it wrong.

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No offense meant, but if it were me in the situation (and it was once), I would thank God for giving me the nerve, guts, and backbone to do and say what was right. I taught the couple how loving it would be to the believers if they would clean up their bodies. It took an hour or so, and a few follow-ups, but it was worth it. It was like being my Mom, checking behind their ears, smelling their armpits and clothing, making sure they had brushed and flossed. But as I said, it was worth it.

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Is the women saved? If not then I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I would be more worried about the stunk of others attitudes than some soul that Jesus died for!


Yes.....but very much untaught. Our ladies are working on gently helping her. Some people can be helped...some cannot....so, we shall see.

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Yes.....but very much untaught. Our ladies are working on gently helping her. Some people can be helped...some cannot....so, we shall see.



You mean she still stinks? You originally posted this back in February.

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