Struggling with a past Divorce.

[Saved IFB]

For the past few years, since 1999, I have been in deep depression about my divorce. It is over, but I cannot seem to get pass the fact that is happened and divorce was wrong in the eyes of God. I feel as though I cannot be useful to God because of it....


Just venting.

[Miss Linda]

I am sure others who are more qualified to speak on this issue will post more useful responses, but if I may I thought I would just try to offer an encouraging word.

I am sorry you are feeling so depressed. I will pray that you will be relieved of that depression. All have sinned, there is none righteous, but we do serve a most loving, compassionate and merciful God. I'm sure you have read these scriptures many times, but I would like to post them just to remind you of the mercy of our good God:

"He will turn again, He will have compassion upon us; He will subdue our iniquities; and Thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea." (Micah 7:19)

"I even I, am He that blotteth out thy transgressions for Mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins." (Isaiah 43:25)

Remember the grievous sins of King David--he ordered the death of Uriah and sinned with Uriah's wife. These were acts of unspeakable evil. But he repented, God forgave him, and used David to glorify His name and further His kingdom. He can, and does, use vessels of gold and vessels of clay, and I have no doubt He will use you for His glory!

[Saved IFB]

Miss Linda,

Thanks for the encouraging words and scriptures that you provided. Yes I have read these verses before, but sometimes hearing it from others brings them it further light.

Thanks. I am sure He will enable me to be used to encourage and bring others to the wonderment of His grace and mercy.

[HappyChristian]

You know, Saved, David had his moments of depression, too. At one point, while David and his men were away from the town of Ziklag, the Amelekites burned the city and took their wives and children. David's two wives were taken as well. We are told: "And David was greatly distressed; for the people spake of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and for his daughters: but David encouraged himself in the LORD his God."

Here his men were talking about stoning him, even though he suffered the same as they did. But the point of the verse is that he encouraged himself - not by good thoughts, or cheerful words, but in the Lord. And that is where you need to go: straight to the Lord, and the battery of verses that show you are forgiven, every time the guilt rears its head.

Divorce is wrong. But it does happen. Just as other sins that are wrong happen (please don't think I'm trying to trivialize...I'm not). But here is the crux: Christ forgave you of it, correct? The Bible is clear on that. But have you forgiven yourself? Have you truly accepted the fact that Christ forgave you? Until you do, you won't be able to move on from the depression that the guilt causes. And the devil loves it if he can hamper a Christian with guilt about sins we've committed. There is no need for you to continue to feel guilt about it: Jesus Christ forgave it and it is gone!

I hope you understand what I mean?

[Saved IFB]

You know, Saved..

I hope you understand what I mean?

Happy-Oh I truly understand what you are saying, and as such I am in prayer concerning this matter. This/theses verses has put a entirely different light on the matter, for, as spoken above, hearing it from others and knowing that it is not the end of the world helps me out.

I just want to serve him without the heavy burden of guilt sitting on my shoulders. These words from fellow believers has lightened the load much. Edited October 11, 2010 by Saved IFB

[HappyChristian]

My friend, the burden of sin is gone: let Christ take that guilt, too! He does want to use you. There is plenty in the church you can still do. YOU are a child of God. Forgiven by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Let that wash over and through you...


1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Isn't that just a beautiful verse?

Psalm 103:2,3 "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;"

Epehsians 1:6,7 "To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace;

Aren't His words a feast? "Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts."

[Saved IFB]

My friend, the burden of sin is gone: let Christ take that guilt, too! He does want to use you. There is plenty in the church you can still do. YOU are a child of God. Forgiven by the shed blood of Jesus Christ. Let that wash over and through you...

Thanks Happy.

[JerryNumbers]

I hesitate on a message board to address such a subject many times. It seems those who have gone through divorce sometimes will get a bit hostile about this subject with those they disagree with.

I had one man who came to talk to me who was divorce, divorced 2 times, he was telling me that God was calling him to be a pastor. Politely as possible I told him he was confusing the calling, and pointed out the verses. He got bent out of shape and blew up telling me I was not much of a pastor.

We've got a man, about 50 years of age, who is divorced. It does not seem to bother him, and he has told me he will never remarry.

There's many different views on divorce and remarriage, he and I share the same view, in most cases of divorce neither spouse is free to remarry. Of course I've noticed many seem not to care what God says about this matter, and they do as they please, bending Scriptures to fit their wants and some of them divorce and remarry several times.


Yet, the one important thing to remember is that if you've gone to Him, {see verse below}, confessed any blame that you might have, this is behind you, its time to move on serving our Lord in all the ways you can. Sure, because of the consequences of divorce, there are certain ways you can no longer serve Him, yet there is still plenty of ways to serve Him.

Ps 103:12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.

And of course he can restore you joy.

Ps 51:12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit

[Saved IFB]

Yet, the one important thing to remember is that if you've gone to Him, {see verse below}, confessed any blame that you might have, this is behind you, its time to move on serving our Lord in all the ways you can. Sure, because of the consequences of divorce, there are certain ways you can no longer serve Him, yet there is still plenty of ways to serve Him.

Jerry-

Thanks...

Such as?

[Saved IFB]

I hesitate on a message board to address such a subject many times. It seems those who have gone through divorce sometimes will get a bit hostile about this subject with those they disagree with.

I may be uneducated about much in the Bible, but I don't see why you would be hesitant in expressing the truth about the matter. Don't they get hostile about salvation too, but you still preach, correct?

Just my thoughts. Edited October 11, 2010 by Saved IFB

[John81]

I may be uneducated about much in the Bible, but I don't see why you would be hesitant in expressing the truth about the matter.

I believe Jerry is speaking to the fact some don't care that much what the Bible says and are quick to become overly emotional and post attacks at those trying to help them.

[Saved IFB]

I believe Jerry is speaking to the fact some don't care that much what the Bible says and are quick to become overly emotional and post attacks at those trying to help them.

Oh, I see. Thank for clearing that up, John.

[Bro K]

In your Intro you stated: "I have been divorced, so preaching or doing anything in the church is out of the question"

True, God does not like divorce, but as in any sin(s) God will forgive and forget. I believe you're referring to divorce as related to the office of Pastor. You need to understand that there is a difference between being a 'preacher' and being a 'pastor'; although they do overlap at times.

Romans 10:13-14 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. 14) How then shall they CALL on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they BELIEVE in him whom they have not heard? and how shall they HEAR WITHOUT A PREACHER?" A lost person must Hear, then Believe, then Call !!!! We are ALL commanded to preach (proclaim, herald forth) the Word; we just do it in different ways (public speaking, witnessing, teaching, etc).

[Saved IFB]

In your Intro you stated: "I have been divorced, so preaching or doing anything in the church is out of the question"

True, God does not like divorce, but as in any sin(s) God will forgive and forget. I believe you're referring to divorce as related to the office of Pastor. You need to understand that there is a difference between being a 'preacher' and being a 'pastor'; although they do overlap at times.

Romans 10:13-14 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. 14) How then shall they CALL on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they BELIEVE in him whom they have not heard? and how shall they HEAR WITHOUT A PREACHER?" A lost person must Hear, then Believe, then Call !!!! We are ALL commanded to preach (proclaim, herald forth) the Word; we just do it in different ways (public speaking, witnessing, teaching, etc).

Brother K, I get it, indeed. I never thought of it in that manner, thanks. So I will be able to do Public Speaking and Teaching as far as the Gospel is concerned?

[Bro K]

Brother K, I get it, indeed. I never thought of it in that manner, thanks. So I will be able to do Public Speaking and Teaching as far as the Gospel is concerned?

As far as the Gospel (the Word) is concerned: Yes

As far as MAN is concerned: That's a different story, you will surely face opposition.

I suggest you sit down face to face with your Pastor and discuss your concerns.