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What do we do. . . ?


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My 9 year old son woke me up this morning by saying, "Dad, I need your help."

He walked into to the bathroom, and I followed him, turned on the light, and saw melted chocolate all over his face, hair, pajama shirt, and arm. He said he took chocolate chips out of the kitchen during the night and brought them to his bed. He fell asleep before he could eat them all, and now he, and the bed (sheets, blanket, and pillows) are covered in melted chocolate.

I gave him a washcloth and told him to wash himself up. Since I was needing to leave for work, I let him know that he was in BIG trouble and sent him to the extra bed. My wife told my son that he has lost priveleges this week - bike, scooter, tv, movies, ect. He must wash out his shirt and the bedding by hand, too. Is this enough, or do you think there should be other consequences? (This is not the first time he has taken food during the night, either.)

The one positive thing I see in all of this is that he came to me first, before we found the chocolate, and asked for help.

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My 9 year old son woke me up this morning by saying, "Dad, I need your help."

He walked into to the bathroom, and I followed him, turned on the light, and saw melted chocolate all over his face, hair, pajama shirt, and arm. He said he took chocolate chips out of the kitchen during the night and brought them to his bed. He fell asleep before he could eat them all, and now he, and the bed (sheets, blanket, and pillows) are covered in melted chocolate.

I gave him a washcloth and told him to wash himself up. Since I was needing to leave for work, I let him know that he was in BIG trouble and sent him to the extra bed. My wife told my son that he has lost priveleges this week - bike, scooter, tv, movies, ect. He must wash out his shirt and the bedding by hand, too. Is this enough, or do you think there should be other consequences? (This is not the first time he has taken food during the night, either.)

The one positive thing I see in all of this is that he came to me first, before we found the chocolate, and asked for help.


Sounds to me like the punishment fits the crime and is directly related to making amends by cleaning up and such as well.
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I agree with trc. IMO, the fact that he came to you is a good sign. If you punish him additionally to what you already have done (and washing the stuff out by hand is a good one!), he could try to hide it next time. Personally, I would recommend, once he is done with the washing, that you sit down with him and talk about sin...and let him know that you are glad that he came to you. That is exactly what we want our kids to do - because that is exactly what God wants us to do.

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I agree with trc. IMO, the fact that he came to you is a good sign. If you punish him additionally to what you already have done (and washing the stuff out by hand is a good one!), he could try to hide it next time. Personally, I would recommend, once he is done with the washing, that you sit down with him and talk about sin...and let him know that you are glad that he came to you. That is exactly what we want our kids to do - because that is exactly what God wants us to do.


Agreed.
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I agree. I wouldn't go overboard with this. There are many things worse than this. Him coming to you shows a sign of maturity. When you sit down and talk to him, don't get irate. Not saying you would, but I don't know you. We're making strides with our 9 year old. He's really starting to mature and take responsibility for his actions. Good luck with this.

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I think that's a good idea.

We have had trouble with our oldest son as far as taking food without permission but not at night.

One time after I told them no more snacks without permission, I caught him and one of my other boys chowing down on a box of cookies after I had been out of the house for several minutes doing something outside. I calmly told them that I hope they enjoyed their lunch, because that's what the cookies were. Then, I went to Burger King and bought hamburgers and fries for my two other boys and husband. As they looked on with tears, I reminded them they had been told not to steal food without permission...they agreed....and I did NOT have that prOBlem again. Punishment fit the crime.

Recently we had a prOBlem with our oldest son "cleaning up" after his brothers. He has a weight prOBlem (slight...we try to keep up on it...the other boys are slim but he has a prOBlem with extra weight) so we told him several times he was NOT to take food from his brothers, even if they were done, without permission because its a bad habit to eat food just because its sitting out. After a few times where he disOBeyed, I warned him (took this idea from my dad, who did this to us for complaining about food) that the next day he would eat nothing but ramen noodles for lunch and dinner. He was okay with the lunch but he was upset about dinner. He did it one more time and I gave him ramen just for one meal instead of the regular meal (not a whole day). He has not taken food without permission since.

Because food is important to him...then when he takes food into his own hands, then I end up having to take it away in another way (nothing in an abusive manner, or starvation, mind you.)

If my kid started stealing food at night....I would prOBably say that he would either lose breakfast (if he likes breakfast) or lose dessert for several days to a week....or maybe whatever food he stole, he no longer gets to have (say its chocolate) and he will watch his siblings eat that particular food. On the other hand, if he stops stealing food at night, maybe reward him with his favorite breakfast, or take him out to lunch. It sort of trains them to have self control....

Our boys have alot of prOBlems with self control so I have to figure out ways where it will hit hard and jar their memories if they think about doing something a second time. I don't have all the answers but we nipped the food prOBlems in the bud pretty quick this way.

Good luck with it.

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