Raising Versus Training

[Brother Rick]

Here's part of an article my wife wrote. You can find the entire article here: http://melissaattruthandsong.blogspot.com/2010/08/raising-versus-training.html


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In the book, “Raising Respectful Children in a Disrespectful World” the author talks about the difference between Parent Centered Homes, Child Centered Homes and Character Centered Homes.

EVERY CHILD’S UNDOING

I call a “Parent Centered Home” one where you “raise” your child. Raising a child entails that they have a roof over their head, food in their belly, and stay alive until they leave the home; they occupy themselves … at least they occupy themselves until they become a disturbance to the parent. THEN AND ONLY THEN it seems the parents intervene or react. This is how it goes until the child leaves the home, hoping to please their parent … somehow. They have no self respect because they have never been taught to do anything respectable.


Proverbs 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

This child brings its mother to shame because everyone else knows that child does not have the training it needs for life, and they know that the parent is to blame.

You will see this child:

• Throwing fits in their school years because no one has taught it how to deal with frustration.

• Making a mess or being destructive in theirs and other’s homes because their parents have let them get in the habit of doing whatever it takes to keep the child entertained so that their parents can be busy at what interests them. The child has not learned to do things “decently and in order.”

• Talking about things that are above their maturity level because their parents watch TV and movies that THEY want to watch, because the kid’s shows are boring.

• Being disruptive in weddings and church services because they have never been taught to sit quietly for a period of time.

• Leaving the dishes on the table for someone else to clean up because the child was just allowed to get down from the table as soon as they finished eating (regardless of how much they ate) … so everyone else could finally eat in peace.

• Overweight or constantly snacking because their parents have not taught them the proper habits of nutrition. They feed the child to keep them entertained rather than feeding the child to keep it fueled for life...

http://melissaattruthandsong.blogspot.com/2010/08/raising-versus-training.html

Edited August 24, 2010 by Rick Schworer

[John81]

Good food for thought!

I would suggest one change. Rather that calling the child "it", use "his/he/him" in these areas:


This child brings its mother to shame because everyone else knows that child does not have the training it needs for life, and they know that the parent is to blame.

You will see this child:

• Throwing fits in their school years because no one has taught it how to deal with frustration.

[Brother Rick]

Good food for thought!

I would suggest one change. Rather that calling the child "it", use "his/he/him" in these areas:


This child brings its mother to shame because everyone else knows that child does not have the training it needs for life, and they know that the parent is to blame.

You will see this child:

• Throwing fits in their school years because no one has taught it how to deal with frustration.

Thanks John, I'll pass that one to the wife! Did you read the rest of the article on her site?

[John81]

Thanks John, I'll pass that one to the wife! Did you read the rest of the article on her site?

Not yet but it's on my list of things to do!

[John81]

Excellent article! Right on target!! As I was reading the entire article I could instantly picture children I've know who grew up or are being raised under each of those styles.

This would be a great article for every Christian parent and parent-to-be to read, study and put into practice.

It's sad but most professing Christians fail to train their children biblically and yet they eventually wonder why their children act like the world and often go the way of the world.

[trc123]

I didn't know what to expect when opening a thread called, "Raising Verses Training." I mean, I know she writes songs and I was thinking that she was doing some kind of verse writing called, "raising."

Now I get it, the thread should be called, "Raising versus Training" or "Raising vs. Training".

[John81]

I didn't know what to expect when opening a thread called, "Raising Verses Training." I mean, I know she writes songs and I was thinking that she was doing some kind of verse writing called, "raising."

Now I get it, the thread should be called, "Raising versus Training" or "Raising vs. Training".

I read right over that! Good point...and funny too!

[John81]

"MOMMY - WHY IS CINDERELLA SHOWING HER CHEST?" Why even Christians are so immodest, and how we have fed into the pornography industry.

Another excellent article! Would that all Christian women would read this and apply the lesson therein!

I liked this quote in regards to how you (Rick) deal with seeing immodestly dressed women: "He said that one of the things that he does is to blink when something revealing crosses his path. This would give him time to readjust his eyes and brain."

That's a tactic I use as well. I'll blink and turn my head as I'm blinking.

One of the reasons I look forward to colder weather is that some women finally put some clothes on. This is especially a concern since I have sons.