Members irishman Posted May 5, 2010 Members Share Posted May 5, 2010 Limericks I once knew a man named Earl, Who married a countrified girl; His son was named Jake, His daughter, a snake, And she was the family pearl! There once was a man from ‘Orleans Who thrived on bananas and beans; He grew so small, He was nothing at all; Then he fell through a hole in his jeans! There was a kid on my bus Who never made much of a fuss; He surprised us one day When he stood up to say, “Wanna hear how good I kin cuss?” There was a man from Kalamazoo Who always had nothing to do; He got so bored, He went out of his gourd, And died of the “lambuckaroo.” There was a man from Sarongue, Who had a very unruly tongue, He raised twelve kids, And when asked how he did, He said, “You have to have them while they are young.” I thought I’d drop you a card, But was afraid to drop it too hard; If it got broke, I might have a stroke, And it would make a big mess in your yard! I once knew some men from Peru, Who were part of a motley old crew; They all swung from trees, And crawled on their knees, Now they teach evolution at Perdue! She once threw an egg at my house, Because I had called her a louse; She never forgave, Till she went to her grave, And passed the hate on to her spouse! There once was a man from Bierut Who loved to toot on his flute; “He’s a strange one” they say, Because he won’t play, When he has a sore in his boot! There was a young writer from Dell, Who never had learned how to spell; Though he tried to learn, He could never discern, How the ink in his pen turned to gel. A woman of minor degree, Had to pay the judge a small fee; She paid her fine With a bottle of wine, I am told she got off scot-free! There once was a young man named Fred, Who received a hard knock in the head; He laid down to rest, And never had guessed, That tomorrow he would wake up dead! I have heard of a town called Perth, A place of very great worth, A wonderful place, With plenty of space, Even for the size of my girth! Some “classics”: There was a young man from Perth Who was born on the day of his birth; He was married, they say, On his wife’s wedding day, And he died on his last day on earth! --copied There once was a man from Nantucket Who kept all his cash in a bucket, His daughter named Nan, Ran off with a man, And as for the money, they tuck it! --copied There once was a man from Quebec He was buried in snow to his neck; When asked “Are you froze” He stuck up his nose, And said, “we don’t call this cold in Quebec”! --copied End of “Classics” There once was a man from Peor, Who laid up his treasure in store; Then Jesus came, And called his name’ And now his treasure’s no more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members irishman Posted September 17, 2010 Author Members Share Posted September 17, 2010 in view of another post on this forum, I have added another limerick: (Irishman are known for their limericks!) There was a man from Kalamazoo Who decided he’d get a tattoo; He got one on his arm, But to his alarm, His wife had gotten one too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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