What can you do?

[ptwild]

have they try changing church? Some churches don't treat non-believers very well and tend to be harsh (as in belittling and such).

It's my understanding that the child has not been to church since admitting to being a non-believer.

[Psalms18_28]

well, that's too bad.

I say, send her to public school since she does not want anything to do with God, and she won't graduate at 16 anymore.

[ptwild]

well, that's too bad.

I say, send her to public school since she does not want anything to do with God, and she won't graduate at 16 anymore.

Public school isn't really an option where we live. And it appears that she would just get up and leave if she didn't want to be there. My friend didn't come to work this morning and I have a feeling he is dealing with this situation.

I really don't see what else he can do other than kicking her out and changing the locks. What do you do when no punishment works?

[HappyChristian]

Pray and love. The thing that's been going through my mind the last couple of days is the prodigal son. The father didn't kick him out, but let him go when he demanded...and when he came to himself, he realized just what he'd let go.

[Psalms18_28]

Public school isn't really an option where we live. And it appears that she would just get up and leave if she didn't want to be there. My friend didn't come to work this morning and I have a feeling he is dealing with this situation.

I really don't see what else he can do other than kicking her out and changing the locks. What do you do when no punishment works?

like I said, she need help... even the public school will not put up with her walking out. They DEFINITELY won't put up with it.

[ptwild]

Pray and love. The thing that's been going through my mind the last couple of days is the prodigal son. The father didn't kick him out, but let him go when he demanded...and when he came to himself, he realized just what he'd let go.

So kind of just let this thing run its course? Let her continue to stay home from church and hope she comes around?

[HappyChristian]

I still say there's more to it than meets the eye. Kicking the girl out would solve nothing, would it? She'd still not go to church, and there would be a possibly non-healable (not a word...) breach in the family. How then could they reach her?

You've said she claims to be an unbeliever - what does the Bible say about reaching the lost? Drop them when they don't respond the way we think they should? No. And least of all when it is your child. Children are an heritage given to parents from the Lord. And I believe that kicking your child out of your home, when that child is a minor, is mishandling that heritage. (that doesn't mean that I'm against sending the child somewhere for help...that's not the same as kicking them out).

The parents need to fast and pray and beg God for answers and for a miracle. He's a just and merciful and loving God who loves that girl more than both parents combined.

[bzmomo7]

I know she's not ready to be on her own, but I really don't see any other option. And I don't think anyone can force her to do anything that she doesn't want to. Just think about it Happy, even when you were her age, if you would have wanted to (and dared to disOBey), you could have done as you wanted (lawfully,that is) so long as you could take the punishment. And even on that note, I'm not so sure she can be punished if she doesn't allow it.

I haven't been on in a while PT, but when I read through all the posts a couple of things stood out to me. 1. The girl does not want to leave her parents home (otherwise, she would have taken her opportunity and run away instead of hitchhiking home); therefore in theory your idea of at least threatening to kick her out might work. 2. notice the words you used above that I highlighted in pink......I think this friend of yours is raising a little lawyer himself. You think like one, that is why you immediately put in that phrase. I think this girl knows the law, too. PrOBably heard about it through her father, which is why I asked you before if he was a lawyer as well. I'm not sure if it is a good idea to kick out a child as young as she is even if it were legal, but I would think it would be a great risk if she wasn't emancipated because her parents would be responsible for all her actions. If the parents cannot initiate emancipation in your state, and the girl knows it, she might think they have no choice but to let her do whatever she wants. I realize that you have said that the primary prOBlem is just with church, but believe me, if they let her get by with this, it will spread to something else later. Your friend might want to weigh his legal options and give her a legal talk about it letting her know exactly where she stands and give her some choices. From what you've said, I believe the girl really doesn't want to believe in God, and that not only does she not respect her parents authority, she seems to think her parents will just let everything slide if she just pretends nothing happened. I do think, like HC, that there is something more to it all, that something happened perhaps that no one knows about, but I don't think that is a good enough excuse to just "carry on" as if nothing has happened. Didn't you mention other siblings? If so, this is most definitely not what you want them learning from. Counseling may be a very good idea, but wow, you have to be so careful whom you choose. I suppose that could be one of the choices they give her.....in that case I would opt for Christian counseling, but from someone she doesn't know.

[aldredheron]

I think they are already past that point or else he wouldn't be confiding in me. I think she simply doesn't believe in God (although she claimed to be a Christian up until this happened) and knows that she can't be forced to believe in him, nor attend his church. And he said that its not just their Church, (she refused to go to a relative's baptism at another Church as well), so I doubt it is really church related. Let's assume that he has carefully explained authority to her and that she still says, "that's fine, I'll respect you and do what you tell me, other than going to Church.

[Guest jackportd]

Hi folk

I did think the same thing Happy,But its appears to have happened at night. Even still though, they should know when a child went missing. Btw, I do not know exactly what kind of facility we are talking about. It could very well be one of those voluntary confinement places where you are allowed to leave if choose. I know that I could have left my school fairly easily if I would have dared. Whats the solution positively.?

Have it well.

[Psalms18_28]

I know a few things about stubbornness and runaway. From my brothers and myself. My stubbornness came from being in the mainstreamed public school and I didn't want to wear a bodyworn FM system, exposing my deafness in front of hearing children. They forced it on me. It was something I had to accept for the time being . I did ran away when I turned 18 because I got tired of my parents treating me different, and yet I wasn't close to my parents (We didn't have American Sign Language at home, so we had a huge communication barrier and we weren't close). I never went back. I say I ran away because I left home out of the blue without saying good bye right before my senior year in high school. At the time, I didn't care how much it hurt my parents. But it did hurt them. Don't worry, I didn't drop out, I was staying with a friend until I found a jOB after high school. But I was 18 years old so I was old enough. You see, When a child do stuffs like this, they are having issues that bigger than just refusal to go to church. It's more of a relationship prOBlems with the parents and not understanding each other. This is why I say, if you feel you are getting to the point that nothing is working even with the proper displine... then you and your child are having a relationship prOBlems and need some counseling or something like that before it get worst. It doesn't matter now respectful the person seem.