Helpmeet? Helpmete? Help-meet? Help Me!

[speerjp1]

WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 27, 2010

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Until recently I have always viewed the "help" and "meet" as two words pushed together to be an adjective of what a wife should be-a helpmeet. As I was reading through Genesis a few weeks ago it "dawned" on me that Eve was created to be a help that was meet (sufficient) for Adam. In studying the Bible for the things necessary for a Biblical home, one cannot overlook the role that a Christian wife must play in the home. We have examples all through the Bible of wives who were less than "meet" for their husband.

For example, JOB's wife. We think of how judgmental, non-trusting and critical she was of God. Be careful. Remember, we know the whole story of JOB, but when we honestly take a look at ourselves, how many of us as women would have at least been tempted to respond in the same, wrong way in the middle of that situation? Imagine the encouragement that she could have been to JOB in this time of great trial in his life! What an opportunity she had to be "meet" for him and failed.

Another example that came to my mind as I was thinking of this was Sapphira. I wonder how the outcome of this dishonest couple would have been different if Sapphira had simply been the help that was meet for her husband and suggested that they simply tell the truth about their earnings. Again, before we are quick to judge Sapphira, we must examine our lives and be honest about how we would respond to "going along" with something that our husband may suggest even if we know it is unBiblical.

This does not mean that in any way saying a wife should take control or tell the husband what to do, but simply to be the help that her husband needs. Think of the word "help" what comes to mind? Maybe someone who needs to be rescued at sea, maybe someone who simply needs help with a household task, maybe someone who is in a dire situation and just needs "help". I believe that God made man with a need for a help, as the Bible states. The tendency of women (as part of the curse) is to take over where our husbands are not doing what we believe they should be. What we need to do is in a right attitude through prayer and a close walk with God approach our husbands when there are things that may need to be addressed or that we believe may be a prOBlem. Sometimes it may be as simple as a husband sharing the desire to do something and not following up with it. The correct response to this is not to attack him and tell him how he never follows through with things, but to gently remind him of what he expressed and ask what you can do to help see that desire fulfilled.

Looking around, one can find that there is just not a lot of good teaching on what a good wife should be in being the help that is meet for her husband. There is a side that says a husband should never be questioned under any circumstances and then there is a side that says "if your husband's not doing it, then you take it over and do it". Neither is Biblical by any means. Remember, the virtuous woman: everything she did was behind the scenes and made her husband a respected man in the community.

A family is only going to be as strong as the relationship between the parents and we must look to the Bible for not only the instructions of what we should be, but also at the examples of women who were not what they could have been as a reminder of how we can either build or break our husbands and at the same time our homes. It's not always the easy thing to do to be the help the we should be to our husbands. Sometimes it would be much easier to just not say anything and go along status quo, but remember our God-given role as wives and if we do not fulfill it we are in disOBedience.


Practice: Talk with your husband about the desire to be the help that is meet for him. That you desire to encourage him in the Lord and to provoke him to good works, and that you have the responsibility of approaching him in a Godly manner if there are questions if how something being handled is Biblical or not.

Experiment: As a wife, The first step of being a good help would be praying for your husband. Take time each day to pray very specifically for your husband and his needs and ask God to show you how to be the help to your husband that God desires you to be.

I have asked Heather to help me with this blog. As you can see, she is helping me with it. I just figured I'd let everyone know so you wouldn't think I was trying to speak as a woman. :-)

[blossom]

That's a relief, I must admit I did take another look.

I must ask, what if your husband is asking you to do something you don't think you are capable of doing. (Nothing illegal or unscriptual.) How do you help him then?

Just as a post script. I really enjoy your posts and thank you for the effort you put into them.

[speerjp1]

If you don't think you are capable of doing something, you are in the perfect position to totally rely on God's power and strength to work through you in your relationship.

What is an example of something in which you consider yourself incapable?

[HappyChristian]

Excellent post, Jonathan! I'm heading over to check out your new blog!

[blossom]

Currently I am meant to be organizing plumber/roofers to come and quote on replacing our roof. I don't know what to ask for, and I know they are going to just over quote me because my husband is working away at the moment. I feel like an idiot!

Blossom

[trc123]

Why would you need a plumber to replace your roof?

[JerryNumbers]

Wow, that is my department!

Yes, why the plumber for the roof?

Sound like what my wife would do, call a plumber to fix the roof!

[His by Grace]

Blossom, I assume you are needing estimates/quotes to fix a roof prOBlem and a plumbing prOBlem. Did I understand correctly? Your sister in Christ, His by Grace

[JerryNumbers]

Blossom, I assume you are needing estimates/quotes to fix a roof prOBlem and a plumbing prOBlem. Did I understand correctly? Your sister in Christ, His by Grace

Teasing!

Just in case no one knew!

[His by Grace]

Jerry8#####, Your reputation isn't known as one that teases!! I guess as a women, I was more sensitive to the "teasing." I wouldn't have been good as a wife to a man that had to be away a great deal and I had to handle this type of thing. This isn't how the LORD created me but I do very well taking care of paperwork that is needed etc. and my husband hates doing those type's of thing's so He make's us the way we are , submitting all to Him, to be the helpmeet He want's us to be. Do you agree Jerry *#####? In Christ, His by Grace

[JerryNumbers]

Paper work, I hate. But, back during the years I run a country store I kept all my paper work up, written into a ledger, and at the end of the year I had it ready.

I went from the store to a farm, paper work for it was completely opposite, come February, in haste, I would hit the paper work, generally in about 7 days, maybe a few more, I would have it put together.

Now day paper work is much simpler, I love that part, but actually I would rather be out digging fence post holes, repairing a fence, cleaning a fence row, helping a cow have her calf, or maybe standing watching a bunch of calves playing and having a good time. I kept the farm looking spic and span for years, but you can't tell it now. That hurts.

Off topic a bit. But one day about 100 years from my front yard a cow had her baby. As I drove up towards my drive way I saw her chasing buzzards. When I got out, I stood there for a few moment watching what was happening. there was about 8 buzzards. The surrounded the area. Some of the buzzards were trying to lure the mother away from her baby, while others where trying to get to the baby. I ran into my house to get my shotgun.

When I came out the whole heard of cows had heard the racket and here they came stampeding to her aid. Yes, together, they ran the buzzards off and proteced the new baby calf and her mother while she took care of her new baby. Many people will say cows are dumb, but they are far from the truth. Another thing they will do, one mother will baby set all the calves while the others go off grazing. If you take notice of them, you will find that the baby setter will change out every so often so she can go grazing too.

One I had several calves for sell. A fellow stopped by, he asked, can you get them up where I can get a close look at them. I told him, you stay here in my drive way. Give me about 10 minutes, them come on over to my pasture. He did. I was standing out in the middle of more than 50 cows. He parked his truck and walked out amongst the cows with me and got a good look at all the calves. He went home and got his trailer, came back and bought a trailer load of claves. Said that was the easiest time he ever had looking at and loading calves. He asked me, how much time did it take you to get them that way. I replied, "About ever 2 to 3 weeks I'll feed them 3 or 5 sacks of sweet feed down in the lot, hang around for about 30 to 45 minutes, plus I go out at least once every day to check on all of them, they love me for it. Besides, its much easier and cheaper than having to get them up with horses and or dogs like most everyone else does, plus they never want to go to the other side of the fence."

[blossom]

I know you are teasing but see what I mean I am not able to do such things, I thought plumbers did more than just pipes. Whatever you call the person to install a new roof. Then of course there is the ceiling in the lounge room who do I call to quote on that?

Johnathon this is what I mean about being a helpmeet. How are we meant to do that when we are not able to do it without being taken advantage of or laughed at.

I could deals with cows, pigs etc. Did you know if you want into a pig shed and stand at the first pen for a few minutes when you walk up the line they wont all scatter and squeal. If you walk straight in and go stomping up the isle you'll cause a huge raucous. Some how they let the other pigs know you're coming and they don't react as badly.

[irishman]

I wonder if I may jump in here? The "help" meet for man, is there to keep him focused on serving the Lord, and not necessarily to do the menial tasks that he neglects!

I Genesis, remember that Adam named all the animals as they )apparently) paraded by, but did not find a mat that5 was "meet" or fit, for him. None of them were able to "meet" the need, the ache inside for companionship. You may remember that Adam had the company of the Father in Eden, so it was more than companionship he needed--it was a tangible friendship more on a human level. There were no other creatures like him, and he was created with special needs that only woman could meet. It was, of course, all in God's plan as he later told them to go forth and multiply, and replenish the earth. Her ability to help him is like no other creature--it is unique in itself, as mankind is unique from all other creatures on earth.

You see, (and this will not go over well) woman was made for man! Man was made for God, and woman was made for man. She is to help keep him focused on walking with the Lord, and keeping His commandments. She does this by meeting the physical needs, so that he is not distracted by other women or things; if he is "full" he does not desire to eat of the delicacies that Satan offers. In this sense, she becomes his closest friend and companion, and is ministering daily in the essentials of raising a family.
Her entire duty is toward her husband first, while his is toward serving the Lord first; a woman can turn a man's head from the things of the Lord faster than anything else--or she can encourage him forward easier than anything else, it matters what her goal is.

Some examples? Adam in taking of the forbidden fruit;
Samson in revealing where his strength lies, and breaking his covenant with the Lord;
David with Bath-sheba ;
Solomon with his many foreign wives, even after being warned by Giod Himself that they woulkd turn his head away from Him.

Luxury and ease in Eden wasn't enough to sustain Adam;
Great strength did not keep Samson from sin;
NOBility was not sufficient for David;
Solomons wisdom did not keep him serving the Lord;

All these fell to the wiles of a woman, and it may have been avoided if they had a virtuous woman at their side-- a real help that was meet for them.

Perhaps this is why we hear of marriages "made in Heaven".

[blossom]

Aren't the "menial tasks" a part of what she can help him with?

[Anon]

"Helpmeet" always bugged me...haha...YES its a "help" that is "sufficient" for Adam! :-)

I find it interesting that in the New Testament the man is commanded to love his wife as Christ loved the church, while the women are told to learn from the older women how to love their husband and children. Also the man is commanded to train their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Then there's "submitting yourselves one towards another". From these verses I find that although the man is the head of the household, he is commanded to lead with LOVE his weaker vessel. And that they are pulling together.."heirs together"....they balance each other out, they go through life together.

I'm all for a woman being submissive and OBedient but too many churches teach some kind of "doormat" mentality where the woman is like the servant and the husband is the Lord...this kind of teaching makes it hard for the husband to love and sacrifice like "Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it". If husbands would play an active part in raising their kids and loving their wives, the wives would, in most cases, gladly love her husband and children and pull her proper weight in the family.

Christ washed the disciples' feet....He prayed for the apostles (and future church)....he was always there to help them if they were weak...He served them very much....but of course He also lovingly rebuked them when necessary. I think if more husbands would follow Christ's example, more wives would follow as well.

I guess at one time I was on a message board with alot of Hyles type people (no offense if anyone here is from a Hyles church because I realize not all are this way) and the women were putting ALL responsibility on a marriage on the women..."Oh you are not submissive enough"...."Oh you aren't treating your husband right"..."If you would do this and this, your marriage would be fixed"....etc. This is putting alot of responsibility on a woman, and pressure, that even God does not! God says being a good wife is something that should be learned from the older women...it doesn't come naturally. And God says the husband is to lead the home with sacrifice and love.

I hope my post makes sense...I'm not advocating an equality...but I am saying that too many marriages have the wrong idea of what God REALLY wants from the marriage.