Protecting yourself from bad marriage

[Seth Doty]

Jer 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

Do you not believe this verse?

"Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."

Do you not believe this verse?

Seriously, if you read what I was saying more carefully you would see that what I was saying is that you can trust God. If you can trust God you can trust those he guides you to trust. This does of course hinge on being in a close enough relationship with God to recognize his direction versus your own leanings/desires/opinions.

[Kayla]

"Proverbs 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."

Do you not believe this verse?

Seriously, if you read what I was saying more carefully you would see that what I was saying is that you can trust God. If you can trust God you can trust those he guides you to trust. This does of course hinge on being in a close enough relationship with God to recognize his direction versus your own leanings/desires/opinions.

Bro. Jerry, I have had trust issues in the past but I have learned personally to smother every friendship or aquaintance I have with prayer. I would have never been guided to my best friend had God not guided me to her and told me to trust her.

[Psalms18_28]

Even though, I do feel relieved that I can trust God. I still keep my guards up when it come to man. If you are too trusting, you will be taken advantage of. In fact, if I was going to be too trusting toward anyone, it will be Christ. It doesn't mean I should not avoid people or not be their friends or anything. It just mean that I should expect the unexpecting. But because of God, I don't get upset easily if a person done me wrong.

[JerryNumbers]

Ok, which is it, is man inherently good or is he as God seems to tell us?

And, Psalm 53:2 God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were any that did understand, that did seek God.
Psalm 53:3 Every one of them is gone back: they are altogether become filthy; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.

Amazing, it says there is none that doeth good, not even one.

Seth, Surely, as many post that I have made on OB, and the nature of the post you replied to, you have never gotten the idea from me that I do not trust God nor that I go around telling people they cannot trust God.

By the way, I know some very trust worthy people, that if they did something bad I would be very surprised, shocked, but yet I know deep down inside that all men are capable of doing extremely bad deeds.

Hey, I even know a man if he came to me in the middle of winter during a snow storm and told me there was tree ripe peaches on the peach trees in the peach orchard that I would go to the peach orchard expecting to eat a tree ripe peach right off the peach trees while the ground is covered in snow.

[Seth Doty]

Seth, Surely, as many post that I have made on OB, and the nature of the post you replied to, you have never gotten the idea from me that I do not trust God nor that I go around telling people they cannot trust God.

Conversely, considering how many posts I have made here as well over the last few years was it a serious question when you asked me if I believed Jeremiah 17:9? Hopefully not.

By the way, I know some very trust worthy people, that if they did something bad I would be very surprised, shocked, but yet I know deep down inside that all men are capable of doing extremely bad deeds.

Sure, everyone is capable of doing evil, but the implication I was getting from your posts was that you can never know for sure what your getting into when you get married. If your a woman you can never for sure if your marrying a wife beater or if your a man you can't know for sure if your marrying a Prov. 31 woman etc. At least that is how it was coming across to me. If that were true I don't know how any believer could get up the nerve to marry anyone. To much potential for trouble to take a chance on something like that. It is my opinion though that since God knows the hearts one isn't taking a chance at all assuming one is truly following Gods direction instead of ones own heart.

Hey, I even know a man if he came to me in the middle of winter during a snow storm and told me there was tree ripe peaches on the peach trees in the peach orchard that I would go to the peach orchard expecting to eat a tree ripe peach right off the peach trees while the ground is covered in snow.

[Seth Doty]

Even though, I do feel relieved that I can trust God. I still keep my guards up when it come to man. If you are too trusting, you will be taken advantage of.

Same here. I could easily count on one hand the people I deeply trust. I trust a lot of people up to a point, including quite a few of the members here, but there aren't many people I trust pretty much totally. I am sure that is normal.

[JerryNumbers]

The poetical is always there, there be many wolves who are dressed up in sheep clothing and the man or woman may be completely fooled on wedding day and or shortly after, maybe even many years later. Its happened before, it will happen again.

I've even seen both men and women who've lived a Christians life with their mate and throw their whole family away at ages up to a bit over 70. Yes, I know one man who lived a life long Christian life with his wife, children, and grandchildren that threw them all out the door at a bit over the age of 70. The wife, children, and grandchildren were stunned along with everyone in the community along with a church full of stunned members who could hardly believe what they saw taking place. There were several who tried to talk with this man, he would tell them I have never been happier in my life, I would not go back for nothing.

I only know of one sure thing of which we all can count on, its Jesus.

Blessed Be The Name

All praise to Him Who reigns above
In majesty supreme,
Who gave His Son for man to die,
That He might man redeem!
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!


His Name above all names shall stand,
Exalted more and more,
At God the Father's own right hand,
Where angel hosts adore.
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!


Redeemer, Savior, Friend of man
Once ruined by the fall,
Thou hast devised salvation's plan,
For Thou hast died for all.
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!


His Name shall be the Counselor,
The mighty Prince of Peace,
Of all earth's kingdoms Conqueror,
Whose reign shall never cease.
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!
Blessed be the Name! Blessed be the Name!
Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

[His by Grace]

Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Psalm 25:9 The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way.

Psalm 34:7 The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

Psalm 32:9-10 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee. Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about.

I think the best protection a believer can have against making the wrong decisions which can cause a lifetime of pain is to wholly follow the Lord God and OBey his word. God protects people doing that. When I see young people marry the wrong person and have trouble as a result of that it nearly always seems they were not following the Lord as they should when they decided to get married. Others can see the prOBlems coming a lot of the time but the person in love is blinded to the prOBlems or is in to much of a hurry to care. If they would seek the counsel of godly people in the church who know them and can be trusted to be honest many times they could save themselves a lot of trouble and pain. If a young lady thinks a young man is godly and is willing to marry him it would be in her own best interest to get the opinions of her pastor or her pastors wife, the deacons or their wives, or of others with a godly testimony within the church and ask them if they see anything that raises red flags. The same is true for a young man interested in a young lady.

Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Ironically young people with enough wisdom to seek the counsel and opinions of other godly believers who have no emotional blinders in the situation are less likely to make mistakes in their choices in the first place because they are usually wise and careful people.

[John81]

Proverbs 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Psalm 25:9 The meek will he guide in judgment: and the meek will he teach his way.

Psalm 34:7 The angel of the LORD encampeth round about them that fear him, and delivereth them.

Psalm 32:9-10 I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding: whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, lest they come near unto thee. Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about.

I think the best protection a believer can have against making the wrong decisions which can cause a lifetime of pain is to wholly follow the Lord God and OBey his word. God protects people doing that. When I see young people marry the wrong person and have trouble as a result of that it nearly always seems they were not following the Lord as they should when they decided to get married. Others can see the prOBlems coming a lot of the time but the person in love is blinded to the prOBlems or is in to much of a hurry to care. If they would seek the counsel of godly people in the church who know them and can be trusted to be honest many times they could save themselves a lot of trouble and pain. If a young lady thinks a young man is godly and is willing to marry him it would be in her own best interest to get the opinions of her pastor or her pastors wife, the deacons or their wives, or of others with a godly testimony within the church and ask them if they see anything that raises red flags. The same is true for a young man interested in a young lady.

Proverbs 11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Ironically young people with enough wisdom to seek the counsel and opinions of other godly believers who have no emotional blinders in the situation are less likely to make mistakes in their choices in the first place because they are usually wise and careful people.

As to answering the original question, this is the best reply in this thread.

Scripture has the answer and if we walk in the Word we can walk in confidence.

We are to OBey God and trust Him.

If we allow our emotions, our own reasoning or our flesh to make our decisions then it's little wonder we find ourselves having made a wrong decision.

Too often professing Christians will make assorted unbiblical decisions with regards to relationships and then when things go bad they ask, "Why did God do this to me?" If God tells us to walk down path #1 and we choose to walk down another path that leads to things going bad, it was we who did it to ourselves, not God.

We can't date a non-Christian thinking we'll get them saved someday and get all emotionally involved with them and then marry them and expect to have a wonderful marriage. Such is totally against the Word of God yet a great many professing Christians do this.

We are to surrender every area of our lives to Christ. That includes relationships; which includes friendships and marriage.

Kayla made a great point about covering all our relationships in prayer. Along with that we need to take the time to listen to our Heavenly Father when He might say something to us about our relationships and to heed what He says; whether He tells us to pursue a relationship or end it.

Turn to the Word for answers, surrender everything to Christ and OBey the Word.