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Kayla

Your Dating/Courting Philosophy

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Just the fact that a man tells a woman that he cares for her and wants to date her and then breaks up with her is not necessarily defiling the woman. I would think there would have to be more negative things the man did (even sexual in nature) to the woman before it would be considered defiling.

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Just the fact that a man tells a woman that he cares for her and wants to date her and then breaks up with her is not necessarily defiling the woman. I would think there would have to be more negative things the man did (even sexual in nature) to the woman before it would be considered defiling.

Are you familiar with the S.M. Davis series on Dating/Courting?

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Are you familiar with the S.M. Davis series on Dating/Courting?


No, I am not familiar with that series. But I am familiar with the Scripture series and the "Father of three grown married children" series. :biggrin:

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Does anyone think that telling a young lady that you care for her and want to date her and then you brake up, does anyone think that he defiled the young lady?


No, I don't agree with that philosophy. If that is taught, then it actually besmirches young ladies, making them undesirables. Many young people become interested in more than one person, and might even "date" them. And while dating, there is usually genuine caring. Breakups can be good!

I've known many Christian couples who have gotten engaged and then realized that they were not right for each other and broken up. Some teach that engagement is betrothal as in the Bible and a break up is the same as divorce. But that is not so. If no vows have been said, it is simply a breakup. As trc pointed out, there is no defilement uless other things have been done.

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No, I don't agree with that philosophy. If that is taught, then it actually besmirches young ladies, making them undesirables. Many young people become interested in more than one person, and might even "date" them. And while dating, there is usually genuine caring. Breakups can be good!

I've known many Christian couples who have gotten engaged and then realized that they were not right for each other and broken up. Some teach that engagement is betrothal as in the Bible and a break up is the same as divorce. But that is not so. If no vows have been said, it is simply a breakup. As trc pointed out, there is no defilement uless other things have been done.



That is correct, the whole reason for setting up standards of conduct is to protect both parties from defilement.

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Understood, I'm feeling in a fun mood today. Please forgive my funnin' with you.

Sorry, short night, I just misunderstood. And I like having a good time :frog: I just bought a new mandolin last night and I stayed up late to win the auction.

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Sorry, short night, I just misunderstood. And I like having a good time :frog: I just bought a new mandolin last night and I stayed up late to win the auction.


I see you won the auction, that is wonderful. My father got a new "F" body mandolin given to him for his birthday by my mother this year. He loves it. He and I play Bluegrass when I'm visiting them (he plays 4 string tenor banjo, 5 string banjo, fiddle, mandolin, guitar and piano; I only play piano and guitar) in Florida. My most cherished memories growing up and even now through adulthood are my dad and I spending hours on the porch together playing Irish reels and Bluegrass.

In any event, enjoy your new instrument much!

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post_2589_1261220741_5b21e5adf15d4b080bd

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Mother was a piano player, I've got many precious memories of standing around it while she is playing and we're singing Christmas and Gospel songs.

Looking back it seems nearly every week someone was coming over to practice for something they would sing at church. I always enjoyed the sounds from the piano as I was out playing in the yard as a small boy. I miss them much.

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My dad was pretty strict on me when I was dating Trish. At the time I just thought he was a crazy old man, but I look back at it now and I see that he was protecting me. Now, I may or may not be as strict with my kids when they get to that age, but I really appreciate the rules that was in place for me as a young adult.

Trish is the only girlfriend I ever had. I would have never dated her if I felt I could not marry her. We dated for 5 years before we married (not saying that it has to be that long for anyone) and let me tell you the longer we dated, the more temptation was there for us to get into trouble.

There is no cookie-cutter philosophy for dating, you must pray to God and talk to your parents and pastor to set up rules and then follow Gods leading in this area of your life.

Also, it is a good idea to use someone to be accountable to. The point of all of this is the follow and trust God. Temptations in dating will be there, will God or Satan get the victory?

p.s. Never trust a guy by what he says, trust him by how he lives his life.

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Thanks for your kind words Brother Matt, I somehow knew your dad would be strict about how he handled you. Brother Souza(your dad) has always been one of my favorite preachers. (Not a slam on you, I've never heard you preach before)

I anticipate to let God guide me while I court someone. I am a firm believer in the NO touch policy as far as between guys and gals. I think it brings about extremely too much temptation between a young man and a young lady. I have been called an extremist for some of my standards(especially this one). But it really doesn't matter to me, I am going to follow what the Lord lays on my heart no matter who scoffs at it.

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My dad was pretty strict on me when I was dating Trish. At the time I just thought he was a crazy old man, but I look back at it now and I see that he was protecting me. Now, I may or may not be as strict with my kids when they get to that age, but I really appreciate the rules that was in place for me as a young adult.

Trish is the only girlfriend I ever had. I would have never dated her if I felt I could not marry her. We dated for 5 years before we married (not saying that it has to be that long for anyone) and let me tell you the longer we dated, the more temptation was there for us to get into trouble.

There is no cookie-cutter philosophy for dating, you must pray to God and talk to your parents and pastor to set up rules and then follow Gods leading in this area of your life.

Also, it is a good idea to use someone to be accountable to. The point of all of this is the follow and trust God. Temptations in dating will be there, will God or Satan get the victory?

p.s. Never trust a guy by what he says, trust him by how he lives his life.


That is 100 % true and it great advise.

Many of the will promise anything to get what they want.

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Brother Jerry, women are just as manipulative as men maybe even more so, I can say that there are many Biblical examples even of that.

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Perhaps so, but I know men 1st hand, and what some have done and said in order to get what they want.

A friend of mine once stated there's 2 kind of men, sorry men who want work, sorry men who will work, the only reason they accept me is at least I will work.

He was a recovered alcoholic, but I could never get him to give up the horses, he kept right on thinking he would hit the big one but he died without every hitting that big one.

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