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Your Dating/Courting Philosophy


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When we got married I was 18 and my wife 19. We were both in the military. In some respects we were too young and immature; in other respects it has been a tremendous journey together. We are now over 30 years married and still young enough to enjoy our grandchildren. I actually pity those who wait until they are 40 or 45 to have their children. They must be exhausted all the time, I know I am when the grands are over for just 3 or 4 hours.........lol

In the end, there is no such thing as what is right for me being the standard as what is right for other people in the matter of married vs. single. God is Lord to each of his children and they each must answer to Him. When asked by another, it would be appropriate to share with them models set forth in the Scripture for a blessed home, but in the end; I will never be called upon by the Lord to answer for why someone else stayed single or got married, etc.

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Can I say something without being completely out of line here, this is something that has been on my heart for a while. I am not pointing fingers to anyone on here. But married people make me more depressed than anyone else, they talk about marriage to the fact of talking like singleness was some type of bondage they endured until God allowed them to be married, and so they have this attitude that you need to hurry up and get married so you can release yourself from the bonds of singleness. I've never heard anyone say they enjoyed being single before they got married.

Sometimes it makes me feel abnormal because I don't feel particularally trapped in singleness, nor do I feel like it is a bondage. I do want to get married some day but I don't feel like it has to be tomorrow. Why mess up the plan for my life that God has right now? Most of my single friends feel so pressured to get married they can't focus on serving God because everyone in their church is pressuring them to get married. It hurts that people make us feel inadequate because we do not have a mate. Ok, so I admit I feel pressured too, but I don't feel like people should be pressuring me. Some of the ladies in my church make it a point to tell me several times a month that I am prOBably going to miss my chance when God sends it along if I don't jump on it.

Sorry that was somewhat of a rant. I just think we should be more careful with our words as Christians.


OK, I thought about it, if your were my daughter I would not let you date till your 31. Them only a double date with me and your mother. No matter how hard you begged me to change my mind, I would say NO!

Plus that date would only be allowed once per week, and it would be on Sunday morning going to church services, them shortly after we all had dinner I would make him leave our house. And if he ever asked to marry you I would tell him to ask again when you turned 41.
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OK, I thought about it, if your were my daughter I would not let you date till your 31. Them only a double date with me and your mother. No matter how hard you begged me to change my mind, I would say NO!

Plus that date would only be allowed once per week, and it would be on Sunday morning going to church services, them shortly after we all had dinner I would make him leave our house. And if he ever asked to marry you I would tell him to ask again when you turned 41.

Then I would be too old to have children ;)
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I think the first two sentences would have been a good place to stop. :lol:

I think it is normal for married adults to try and put a little pressure on those that aren't because they are glad to be married themselves and so think everyone else should hurry up and get married too. :reaction:



Actually the normal harassment single people get doesn't really bother me all that much, I just wanted to use that smiley. :wink

I like that smiliey too, it actually doesn't bother me that much I mean I do feel some hurt. I just hate that my friends feel so pressured they date people who aren't really the best just because they are pressured.
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They shouldn't just date anyone. They should wait til God provide them a husband.

But my cousin and my sister, they are so picky with guys. He isn't cute enough. He doesn't have a good career. etc. But oh well, I guess if they were truly in love, they wouldn't see any flaw in a guy. Sometimes I wonder if Mr. Right will ever come along?

But they don't plan to marry anyhow because they are very worldly

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I am 'picky' but for godly characteristics, I refuse to marry someone that isn't involved in work at church. Soul winning, working a bus route, or teaching Sunday School. Whatever the Lord has laid on his heart, but I don't want a pew warmer. I want someone who loves the Lord and serves him. I want someone who can be himself, the person not created not a carbon copy of his favorite preacher.

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I like your ideal type of husband. You are on the right track :) But some people can be so picky (I'm talking about looks and such) that i wonder if christian shouldn't be doing that. I was picky. I told myself I was going to marry a redhaired husband. My first ex-bf was redhaired, but he wasn't a christian. And still isn't today as we are still somewhat neutral friends today. He is a buddist. Then I decided I shouldn't even worry about looks or career. I should just go with flow. So I dated a blond haired guy, and he turned out to be mean-tempered and I'm glad he is gone. Because I didn't care about looks anymore, I finally met my wonderful husband, and he happened to be redhaired LOL funny how things work out.

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Please, don't lower your standards.

I know its popular for young people to date anyone and or everyone just to have something to do or walk with society.

I was kidding in my last post, but at the same time letting you know in a way about way don't let anyone pressure you.

I know a man who had never married them shortly after he passed the age of 62 met a woman just a bit younger than he who had never been married and they both fell heads over heels in love with one another.

In the past he had stated, "I've just never met the right one, if I ever find her I will marry her."

That has been a few years back, the last I heard they were still in love enjoying one another.

Prayers.

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Oh I won't be lower my standards for anyone, I want him to be the spiritual leader of our family if I ever get married. How can he be the spiritual leader if I have to drag him out of bed to go to church every Sunday morning?? No way that is happening.

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Kayla, I gotta tell you that anyone can have a quick temper! :lol: It's actually not true that redheads get angry quicker. Most of the people I've known throughout my life who have hot and fast tempers were not redheads.

My stepdad had sandy colored hair and light blue eyes. And so does my hubby. :icon_mrgreen: More than that, his personality is much like my dad's - as is his love for the Lord. God gave me a good man. :thumb:

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I know some really sweet redheaded men too, now that I think about it. My dad has an excellent temperament. My dad doesn't get angry that often, usually he is calm when solving a situation. Later in life he now has CHF(Congestive Heart PrOBlems) it makes him a little more grouchy. But he has lots of pain and such. I love him to death, I just wish he would be more faithful to the Lord. He is kind of one of those Sunday-Monday Christians. All that said, he really is a great man, he works hard, I can't say that I ever felt in want of anything that I truly needed. I pray everyday that God would turn my parents' hearts toward him and give them a new vision to serve him. I don't think that God is unable to do that in time :)

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Actually I thought about sharing this somewhere, my preacher and I were talking before service last night. One of our missionaries, Brother Elliott's daughter has cancer, an extremely rare cancer that they have 10 people recorded as having. My preacher and I were talking about how that so many Christians put God in a box and strap limitations on the power of God. If God wants to heal little Esther there would nothing a doctor could even do to prevent it if God wanted it to happen. Sorry, I just thought it was a good discussion, because I know I am guilty of that myself at times. My favorite story is Luke 1 where Mary and Elisabeth are talking together and Luke pauses in the middle of the narrative and boldly states my favorite verse, Luke 1:37 "For with God nothing shall be impossible" It's only 7 words but, it is powerful.

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