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Your Dating/Courting Philosophy


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Actually I thought about sharing this somewhere, my preacher and I were talking before service last night. One of our missionaries, Brother Elliott's daughter has cancer, an extremely rare cancer that they have 10 people recorded as having. My preacher and I were talking about how that so many Christians put God in a box and strap limitations on the power of God. If God wants to heal little Esther there would nothing a doctor could even do to prevent it if God wanted it to happen. Sorry, I just thought it was a good discussion, because I know I am guilty of that myself at times. My favorite story is Luke 1 where Mary and Elisabeth are talking together and Luke pauses in the middle of the narrative and boldly states my favorite verse, Luke 1:37 "For with God nothing shall be impossible" It's only 7 words but, it is powerful.

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I used to think I wanted to marry a redhead for a while, but then my sister married my Brother-in-law and he has a horrible temper. And I decided that I wanted to marry someone with dark hair like my dad instead.


My husband doesn't have a horrible temper. I think it's the society that stereotype them l that made people jump into that conclusion. It's kinda sad that the first thing people do when someone wronged them is focus on their skin, hair, disability... anything that make them appear different from themselves. BUT if they are in the same race/hair/etc group (even in the group in family), they would not stereotype.

Actually I know alot of dark hair who have horrible temper. My mother's father was one of them, and he was abusive.
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My husband doesn't have a horrible temper. I think it's the society that stereotype them l that made people jump into that conclusion. It's kinda sad that the first thing people do when someone wronged them is focus on their skin, hair, disability... anything that make them appear different from themselves. BUT if they are in the same race/hair/etc group (even in the group in family), they would not stereotype.

Actually I know alot of dark hair who have horrible temper. My mother's father was one of them, and he was abusive.

Didn't mean to offend, that was kind of a TIC(Tongue in Cheek) statement. I do apologize if I offended you, I don't think all men with red hair have bad tempers. I do know some, but I also know some men with blond and black hair that have horrible tempers.

All that said, when my sister got married it really made me start to think about what I really wanted in a man outside of physical characteristics. My brother-in-law isn't saved(at least not that I know of) and I know that I want a man after God's heart. I love my brother-in-law and I want him to have a relationship with the Lord so badly. Pray for him if you think about it, he is shipping in March to Afghanistan, I'm praying for the next couple months for the tenderness of his heart.
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that's ok, just that my aunt told me the same thing. She doesn't like any redhead, but my husband may have changed her mind. I hope so.

Plus, my husband's father actually told my mother in law that he wouldn't hire any redhead, and she thought "hey, your son is redhead, how could you say such thing?" I was shocked to hear that.

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Just the fact that a man tells a woman that he cares for her and wants to date her and then breaks up with her is not necessarily defiling the woman. I would think there would have to be more negative things the man did (even sexual in nature) to the woman before it would be considered defiling.

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Just the fact that a man tells a woman that he cares for her and wants to date her and then breaks up with her is not necessarily defiling the woman. I would think there would have to be more negative things the man did (even sexual in nature) to the woman before it would be considered defiling.

Are you familiar with the S.M. Davis series on Dating/Courting?
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Does anyone think that telling a young lady that you care for her and want to date her and then you brake up, does anyone think that he defiled the young lady?


No, I don't agree with that philosophy. If that is taught, then it actually besmirches young ladies, making them undesirables. Many young people become interested in more than one person, and might even "date" them. And while dating, there is usually genuine caring. Breakups can be good!

I've known many Christian couples who have gotten engaged and then realized that they were not right for each other and broken up. Some teach that engagement is betrothal as in the Bible and a break up is the same as divorce. But that is not so. If no vows have been said, it is simply a breakup. As trc pointed out, there is no defilement uless other things have been done.
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No, I don't agree with that philosophy. If that is taught, then it actually besmirches young ladies, making them undesirables. Many young people become interested in more than one person, and might even "date" them. And while dating, there is usually genuine caring. Breakups can be good!

I've known many Christian couples who have gotten engaged and then realized that they were not right for each other and broken up. Some teach that engagement is betrothal as in the Bible and a break up is the same as divorce. But that is not so. If no vows have been said, it is simply a breakup. As trc pointed out, there is no defilement uless other things have been done.



That is correct, the whole reason for setting up standards of conduct is to protect both parties from defilement.
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